We all experience hesitations. During yoga classes, I am always challenged when my instructor urges me to let go of my constant evaluation of everything. I might battle thoughts like, “How is everyone else doing with this tough Reverse Warrior pose?… gosh, I don’t look as poised in this position as she does. Maybe I should scale back to the more simplified version so I don’t risk losing my balance.” Our subconscious can easily fire off criticisms – but you have the power to change that.

My challenge to you is to go ahead – give yourself permission to try the more challenging yoga pose. Why not? Go for it! Say “yes” to yourself and open your mind to the possibility of emerging from your comfort zone. The worst that could happen is that you lose your balance and topple onto your padded mat. If so, pick yourself up, let out a genuine giggle (or a bellowing belly laugh if you feel like it) and try again. Ask for help if you need it! On the other hand, the best that could happen is that you prove to yourself that you can do more than you think! You really can master that challenging Reverse Warrior pose. The point is that we embrace the opportunity to live a more fulfilling life by discarding our pre-conceived notions and becoming more open-minded to healthy activities that present themselves to us.

Okay, well, yoga class is one thing, but opening our mind to saying “yes” on bigger things might be a tad more intimidating, right? What happens if you push your envelope in the area of meeting new people and making new friends… and then you are disappointed? Maybe that new person has let you down, and your heart hurts right now. Beautiful goddess, I want you to know that all is not lost.

A trusted mentor of mine would sometimes tell me when I endured heartbreak, “I’m so glad that you’re feeling this pain… because it means you’re growing!” What!? That was the last thing I wanted to hear! But the truth is… she was right. It takes a close confidant to push us into becoming more spectacular, doesn’t it? All experiences are learning opportunities, and our unmet expectations are often the most productive seasons of refinement, as we are shaped and molded into the empowered individuals that we have become.

Trust me. Expanding your mind by opening it up to new ways, different people and unlimited possibilities may seem like placing your heart in a vulnerable position. But I promise you that the risk you take in making increasingly bold attempts to expand your life’s horizons is minor in the face of the world’s unlimited beauty awaiting your embrace. You will meet people who make you laugh more, discover strengths in yourself that you didn’t previously know about and possibly inspire others to break beyond their own boundaries to experience the joy and freedom that you have recently allowed yourself to enjoy.

So go ahead – make a decision to burst through a hesitation that you know is holding you back! Unlock your full potential as a delightfully daring diva and put yourself out there at the next social event. Say “yes” to taking a dance class with a friend or even experiment with that outrageous recipe in a new cookbook. You’ll be amazed at the empowered woman that emerges as you open your mind and heart and allow God’s beauty to pour in. Don’t be surprised when your closest friends tell you that they can see something new that’s attractive about you!

Alex wasn’t even supposed to be here today – at least not if you believe her doctors.  In 2003, she was diagnosed with a terminal disease that led to drastic weight loss, cost her half of one of her lungs, and forced her to wear gloves, dark glasses and a mask to protect herself from the world around her.   She endured 28 surgeries and was told she might never walk or see again.  By 2006, doctors were advising her to say her goodbyes and wrap up her affairs.  They predicted she would die before the year was half over.

But Alex kept fighting.  “I just don’t think you have a choice,” she explained in a 2007 interview. “I think when you lose everything that you have in your life, like your health, you have to depend only on yourself. You make yourself become a stronger person.”

However, while she definitely learned to depend on herself, Alex didn’t exactly make her journey to wellness alone.  She did it with the help of a Golden Labrador Retriever with the rather prophetic name of Hope.

At first, Alex was reluctant to let a service dog like Hope into her life – she didn’t see herself as disabled, so she felt like she didn’t need anyone or anything to help her.  But after a particularly rough point where she felt like she had no hope, she let Hope in.

Within two months, she was able to begin running again, because Hope helped guide the way.  But what really helped Alex regain her strength was the sudden realization that Hope also needed her – to take care of her and protect her.

And being needed gave Alex the strength she needed to feel whole again.

Together, Alex and Hope went on to make history, running the 2007 LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon – the first time a runner with a service dog ever competed in a “regular” marathon.  They competed in the regular field instead of in special divisions for disabled runners.  And together, they proved that anything is truly possible.

The story of Alex and Hope gives me hope, because it has given me a real life example of the power of the human spirit, not to mention to power of love.  I feel I have really learned something from their journey together.  When the little things (or not so little) in life get me down, how can I not push forward toward a better tomorrow.  Alex is real, living proof that that tomorrow is really there.

So I am proud to name her the New 10 of the Month.

The New York native, who prefers to be called “Gabbie,” was an unknown young actress who had never even been in a movie, let alone starred in one.  But when she blew director Lee Daniels away with her emotional audition for the title role in “Precious,” everything changed.  The performer earned an Oscar-nomination and international recognition for her performance as an HIV-positive, abused, pregnant teenager.  Not the easiest role for a first-timer, to be sure.

But what’s really amazing about Miss Sidibe goes beyond her performance in “Precious,” as good as it was.  Because that’s exactly what she has done – gone beyond that character and revealed herself to be somebody completely different and totally unexpected.  Since we first learned to pronounce (and spell!) her unusual name, Sidibe has shown us that she really was acting in that role — in real life, she is hardly shy or depressed, but confident, funny and just about exploding with love and joy.

That’s where Sidibe’s beauty comes from, and it basically radiates out of every pore of her intelligent, confident, beautiful face.  As unusual-looking as she might be, she has a very real, down-to-earth strength that says, “I’m beautiful just the way I am.”  And when you open your eyes and take it all in, she really, truly is.

Hosting TV’s Saturday Night Live this past weekend, she kicked off the show by singing a song basically celebrating her life, not to mention joking with the rest of the world that she’s not Precious so they don’t need to “worry about her.”  You could just see the other cast members falling in love with her, and just maybe, young girls across America finding a new role model.  Because honestly, what’s more beautiful?  A poor, tortured soul like “The Hills’” famous Heidi Montag, who pursued her idea of physical perfection until the point where she couldn’t lift her arms anymore?  Or a woman who feels joy for who she truly is and shares that joy with the world?

For those of you who feel achieving that kind of self-acceptance is impossible, perhaps Sidibe’s own words will inspire you.  As she told The New York Times, there was a time her life when, “I wanted to be everybody else, but I wanted to want to be Gabbie.”

Today, not only does she want to be Gabbie, but other young women want to be Gabbie too.  I don’t know about you, but I think that is absolutely extraordinary.  As the mother of a teenage daughter – not to mention as a human being who lives in this planet – it might be one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

You go, Gabbie.

Which is something she finds slightly annoying.

Should Bigelow win the Oscar®, she has expressed quite strongly that she doesn’t want it to be all about the fact that she’s making history or breaking a barrier.  Neither does she care much for the admittedly-irresistible side story that she is competing against her former husband, “Avatar” director James Cameron, for the prize.  She simply wants the focus to be on her work and her movie, nothing more.

Of course, it’s not hard to focus on Kathryn Bigelow as a woman.  She’s one of those creatures who you look at and sigh, “it’s just not fair.”  She’s tall and reed thin and impossibly beautiful, her eyes sparkle with intelligence, and she honestly looks a good 20 years younger than her 58 years.  Clearly, she is among the genetically blessed.

But what matters about Kathryn Bigelow is what’s inside, not what’s outside.  She’s not just about breaking down barriers; she refuses to recognize them in the first place.    In her words, “There should be more women directing; I think there’s just not the awareness that it’s really possible. It is.”  As the mother of a teenage daughter, I find that incredibly inspirational.

Bigelow has made a career of proving what’s possible and ignoring stereotypes, never once directing a film that could be characterized as a “women’s movie,” but focusing on human stories.  Of course, as a woman, she brings a unique perspective to the way she tells them.  That’s part of their power.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit I haven’t seen “The Hurt Locker.”  It’s a modern war movie about bomb diffusers in Iraq, and is supposed to be extremely intense and violent – not my usual preferred type of film fare!  But the very fact that Bigelow chose to make this particular type of movie, and did it so honestly and so beautifully and so well, is part of what makes her so special.

Kathryn Bigelow has proven what we already know in our hearts, but sometimes forget.  Women really can do anything.  All we need is the strength and courage to reach for our dreams.  Whether or not she wins the Oscar® next week, I have no doubt she will continue to blaze trails as the amazing, incredible New 10 that she is.

And if you’re ready to bring out the New 10 inside of you, I’d like to remind you that my new book, “The New 10:  Redefining Beauty” will be available for pre-order beginning March 10.  I hope it inspires you to reach new heights in your own life.

Although now that I have seen and experienced the phenomenon that is Mo’Nique, I know she would have been my New 10 any month of the year.

This has been as much of a surprise to me as anyone since a year ago; I had absolutely no idea who Mo’Nique was.  While she was a comedienne and a TV performer and had been famous for years in her own right, she had never exactly popped up on my radar before.

But that was before “Awards Season.”

Awards Season, in case you’re not much of a media junkie, is the time of year when the entertainment industry honors their top actors and other notables at a series of major ceremonies.  It’s the season of red carpets and designer gowns and Joan Rivers holding a microphone and asking “who are you wearing.”  And there, amidst all this typical Hollywood pageantry, this…person…sort of emerged.

She didn’t look like Meryl Streep or Julia Roberts.  She was African American, generously plus-sized and almost certainly over 40.

And she certainly didn’t have a Meryl Streep-type career.  She is largely a comedienne known for loud, over-the-top characters.

But there she was, nominated for a searing dramatic performance in “Precious” as possibly the worst abusive mother ever.  This role was so brutal some actresses would certainly be afraid to play it, yet Mo’Nique was brave enough to take it on as her first major dramatic role.  And suddenly, there she was, competing against a field of more polished, more famous, and certainly more traditional looking actresses.

And she topped them all.

When she was named Best Supporting Actress at the Golden Globe Awards, her acceptance speech was so real and so beautiful – it took my breath away.  Her tears were as genuine as her shock, and her gratitude was so deep and profound – I just wanted to be there to hug her.   She radiated grace and compassion and love and everything a New 10 is all about, and it really touched me.

And there, surrounded by perfect, size zero, 27-year-old actresses, she was beautiful.

Why was I so moved by Mo’Nique?  I suppose because here was a woman who certainly didn’t have this level of success handed to her, who obviously never gave up, and who has, in one year, emerged as an incredible, unforgettable talent.  Watching her realize that her time has come, as she has taken home award after award, has made me feel proud and hopeful as a woman.  Her success reminds me that with that kind of passion and determination, nothing is impossible – for any of us.

So before she wins the Best Supporting Actress Oscar – which will likely happen next month – I want to give Mo’Nique yet another award and name her my New 10 for February, 2010.  Wherever her career goes from here, watching Mo’Nique celebrate her success has been a real inspiration to me, and I hope to women everywhere.

Wow.  It’s the beginning of not just a new year, but a whole new decade.  I know a lot of us are saying,”thank God” – after all, the past few years have certainly come with a few challenges.  But I want to let you know, I have a really good feeling about what the 2010s have in store.

I just keep feeling in my heart that we’re entering a new time, and that this is going to be the New 10 Decade.  I feel like we’re on the edge of really learning to appreciate ourselves for the amazing creatures we are, instead of worrying so much about what we’re not.  In fact, I’ve even written a book on the subject called The NEW 10….Redefining Beauty.  It’s going to be released on March 10, 2010, so I hope you’ll keep an eye out for it!

As I wrote the book, I couldn’t help feeling that this this new way of looking at ourselves won’t just make us more powerful and more beautiful than ever before, but that it will actually change the way the world sees beauty and the whole idea of what it means to be a 10.

Which brings me to Oprah.

I don’t think this whole crusade – the book, the website, any of it — would have happened without Oprah.  Watching her over the years, and listening to her, I feel like I saw her grow more and more beautiful, right before my eyes.  Sure, her weight went up and down, she had good hair days and bad hair days, and all that typical stuff we worry about.

But something in her soul just took over.

It was like the more she did for others, the more she just…glowed.  Her beauty and her power were almost like an aura around her.  And the more power and beauty she gained, the more she could do for other people.  She stopped being just another woman and became this…force.

And the more of a force she becomes, the more beautiful she looks.  It’s the way she connects with people when she looks at them.  The way her smile lights up a room.  Even the way she has taken ownership of her body as it is right now and still works it like a supermodel.

I know a lot of people laugh at the whole “Oprah Phenomenon” – I’m sure she even laughs sometimes at all the stuff – the magazine and the book club and the media empire.  It must amaze even Oprah that a girl like her could grow up to be regularly referred to as a phenomenon.

But I think that’s really what it’s all about.

We all have that power inside of us.

Just like Oprah, we can share our gifts with the world.  We can face people as who we really are, but make the constant effort to be our best selves.  And as we touch the lives of those around us, we can change our own lives as well.

We can all become a phenomenon.

So I can think of no better way to launch this new decade – the New 10 Decade – than by honoring my inspiration and naming Oprah Winfrey as my first New 10 of the new decade.

I know she will continue to inspire me – and all of you – to be our best selves and create the lives we really deserve.  All decade long.

Many Blessings,
Dawn

Last month, I asked all of you to give me your suggestions for our next New 10 of the Month.  Instead of simply telling you who I admire, as we close out this year together and look forward to a new one, I really wanted to know who inspires you, who makes you feel proud to be a woman, who you think embodies the heart and the soul and the spirit of the New 10.

And I have to tell you all – while your choice was definitely not a surprise, it’s one I can support whole-heartedly!

“Whole-hearted” is, I think, a great place to start when describing Michelle Obama.  When I watch her in action – whether she’s talking about her life with a classroom full of school children or meeting with foreign dignitaries — she really seems to do everything she does with a truly open heart.

Do you remember when she shocked Royal-watchers around the world by going beyond the traditional curtsey and actually hugging Britain’s Queen Elizabeth?  It was a breach of protocol, but the Queen actually seemed delighted with Mrs. Obama’s warmth and openness.  And I was too.

Whatever your politics, it’s hard not to see how Michelle Obama exemplifies just about all of the qualities of a New 10.  From a physical standpoint, the way presents herself to the world shows that she is comfortable in her own skin and proud of who she is.  She is clearly not supermodel size, but she takes care of her body and admits to working hard to maintain it.  And she’s not shy about flaunting her best features – especially those toned arms! – which is something I encourage all New 10s to do.

When it comes to choosing what to wear, I really admire the First Lady’s style.  I’m impressed with how, when the occasion calls for designer duds, she gives the spotlight to up-and-coming designers instead of relying on the tried-and-true fashion world superstars that traditionally dress first ladies.  “Being worn” by the First Lady of the United States can make a designer’s career, and she has definitely boosted the profile of some very lucky young artists.

I also like how she wears clothes actual, real people without endless budgets for shopping wear.  One popular campaign dress was an off-the-rack number that cost about $150.  And she’s been known to recycle shoes, cardigans, skirts and other articles of clothing, creating a very unique and accessible signature style.

Of course, we all know New 10 beauty is more than skin deep, so I’m sure you all didn’t choose Michelle Obama because of her toned arms and great fashion sense!  I imagine you admire her for the same reasons that I admire her – because she is a modern woman who seems to have life figured out.  She appears at ease and confident with herself and other people.  You can tell she’s firm and not a person who is easily swayed.  But at the same time, she seems like a genuinely giving person.  And at the same time, she seems happy with her husband, happy with her beautiful daughters, and of course, happy with herself.

You can see it in her smile, which lights up her whole face.  You can see how proud she is to be who she is, and after coming from very humble beginnings, living in the public eye with style, grace and good humor.

So I congratulate all of you on your choice of Michelle Obama as December’s New 10 of the Month.  I have someone very special in mind for next month…but I won’t tell you who it is until next year!

Until then, have a blessed holiday season.

What caught my attention was an interview in which she revealed that she was a virgin until the age of 24. She revealed that she was completely and totally unpopular, and something of a “geek” – a classic Plain Jane. She was also overweight for a good portion of her life.

How this classic “ugly duckling” transformed herself into a swan is what impressed me the most. With the exception of slimming down a little – but not to a typical Hollywood Size Zero – she did it without radically changing the way she looks or the person she is. Instead, Tina Fey became a woman who is currently regarded as a “thinking man’s sex symbol” simply by allowing herself to be herself.

Instead of trying to become a totally different person, into an “idea” of an ideal woman, she focused on the areas where she knew she was strong and the things she knew she was good at and parlayed them into unbelievable success. By celebrating what is beautiful and special about the woman she is, she became someone the entire world has fallen in love with.

This is why I think Tina Fey serves as such an amazing example to all women everywhere. How many of us waste our time and energy wishing we were more conventionally beautiful, or thinner, or smarter, or more athletic. How many of us try to turn ourselves into something we’re not, when we could and should be focusing our energies on the gifts we already have?

In Tina Fey’s case, her God-given gifts – the gift of the talent to write and the gift of a wicked (but still warm and forgiving…most of the time!) sense of humor changed her life. They transformed a classic Plain Jane into an internationally recognizable superstar.

The most amazing thing is, we all have the power to do the same thing for ourselves. What gifts do you have that you are overlooking, or not taking advantage of? Are you wasting your precious energy and time worrying about what you’re not, when there’s so much power and beauty in the person who you are?

I hope you will be inspired by Tina Fey and learn to honor the things that are beautiful and special about YOU. You might not turn into a TV star, but you will allow your true, inner beauty to shine through.

Remember, next month, YOU will be choosing our New 10 of the Month, so log into boldlybeautiful.com and keep those nominations coming. I’m excited to learn who inspires and touches all of you. I already know she will be a very special woman – because YOU are all special and be

It certainly didn’t have much to do with how appealing she was as a human being.

A New 10, however, is something very different. She is a woman who is beautiful in a way that isn’t solely about sex appeal, but about appeal in general. About how she relates to other people and the world around her. About openness, and warmth, and generosity of spirit. About making other people feel good.

That doesn’t mean a New 10 doesn’t take pride in her appearance – it’s just that it comes from a place of confidence in herself and her place in the world, rather than from her desire to please others.

That admittedly long-winded introduction is why I’ve chosen Ellen DeGeneres as this month’s New 10.

The talk show host and soon-to-be “American Idol” judge may not be a conventional choice or a conventional beauty – but she is definitely beautiful. Her smile lights up a room. Her blue eyes sparkle with intelligence and curiosity. And while her look is certainly not designed to capture the attention of men, she has great style that really reflects who she is.

But to me, what makes Ellen DeGeneres beautiful is the way she treats the people around her. On her talk show, she approaches each guest with openness and kindness – like a friend – even if what they believe in or stand for is the exact opposite of who she is and what matters to her. She is absolutely firm in her convictions and honest and confident about the person she is. Yet she manages to stand her ground without being abrasive, or angry, or mean.

Plus, she looks great for a woman over 50 – totally natural, healthy and happy in her own skin.

The New 10 Paradigm was created to honor women of all shapes, sizes and colors, so I suppose sexual orientation should also be included on my list. But the thing about Ellen is, she has managed to bridge those divisions and cut across those prejudices just because of the beautiful person she is. To people all over the world, she is simply Ellen. And I truly feel that just by being herself, she is making the world a better place for everyone.

That, to me, is what being a New 10 woman is all about – and why I am proud to name Ellen DeGeneres as my New 10 of the Month.

And yet, every time I see Meryl Streep, I know – not only is she the “greatest actress of her generation,” she is also the perfect example of a New 10.  Which is probably why her name seems so obvious.

Think about it.  This is a woman who, when you look at her, might prompt an exclamation of “I can’t believe she’s 60!”  But then, on the other hand, she is exactly what a 60-year-old woman can be – and is in many cases – in this day and age.  She’s beautiful, but not surgically altered.  Comfortable with her body, with her age, with herself.

I love watching her act – the way she throws herself into every character really amazes me.  But I have to admit, my favorite Meryl Streep movies aren’t the ones where she masters a really difficult accent, or goes back to a long ago time.  I really like when she plays a modern, contemporary, “normal” woman.  Maybe because I so enjoy seeing the woman she appears to be in real life.

I’ve been watching Ms. Streep make the rounds of the late night talk shows promoting her latest movie, “Julie and Julia.”  Looking at women and evaluating them is a large part of what I do.  I’m not normally swayed by celebrity – I look for something far deeper than “star quality” in a New 10.  And despite all that, I can’t get over how impressed I was with Meryl Streep.

I really enjoyed watching her interviews, because unlike so many celebrities who go on these shows just to promote their movie or their project or tell their funny story, she really seemed to enjoy the process of being interviewed.  She actually seemed to enjoy interacting with people, sharing a moment with whoever she was talking to.  She seemed to care about what they had to say, about having a real conversation, about being – for lack of a better term – a real human being.

I loved watching her laugh, which was often.  I could see that it was real.  Her eyes almost teared up.  Her face turned red.  She doubled over.   She seems to be a woman who really enjoys her life and making the most of every moment.

So, as cliché is at may be, I am proud to name Meryl Streep as my New 10 of the Month.  As celebrities go, she is one famous face who truly inspires me.